2. hardly there (less than 6 ounces) - OK well I think i would much rather wear flip flops if its about the weight
3. air ventilation ports keep your feet cool and comfy - again there is something called sandals.
4. non-marking soles
5. resistant to bacteria and odor to keep your friends happy - the odor that it comes with is not going to make anyone happy I guarantee
6. ultra hip Italian styling with molded foot support - yes, the style is definitely "Ultra Hip"..you gotta be kidding me..
7. slip resistant - I don't think I have ever slipped while wearing any of my flats :P
8. can be sterilized in water and bleach (if you step in nasty stuff) - yes, because I step in nasty stuff a lot and also I wanna sit at home n try to clean the crap with bleach..
9. easy to maintain ( no need for shoe shine man) - I don't ever remember using a "shoe shine man" for any of my shoes except when I was in school...even then water did the trick and it still does.
10. water and sand pass easily through vents (so go ahead, cross that river) - I am probably never going to cross a river, but if I was to cross it, I think I will wear flip flops...amazing creation flip flops are, you don't really need "CROCS"